My Personal Connection with "Liberal Arts": Age, Attraction, and Unexpected Endings

 

"Liberal Arts," Josh Radnor's 2012 indie film, I wasn't prepared for how deeply it would resonate with my own life. The film tells the story of Jesse (Radnor), a 35-year-old college admissions officer who returns to his alma mater and becomes involved with Zibby (Elizabeth Olsen), a 19-year-old student. Their connection is intellectual and emotional rather than immediately physical, which made the story all the more compelling and familiar to me.

I've always found myself drawn to older men. There's something about their maturity, wisdom, and established sense of self that I find irresistibly attractive. Maybe it's the way they carry themselves with confidence, or how they've moved beyond the uncertainty that often characterizes people my own age. Whatever it is, I've experienced that same magnetic pull that Zibby feels toward Jesse.

The film beautifully captures the complexity of age-gap relationships without being judgmental. As I watched Zibby and Jesse's relationship unfold through handwritten letters and classical music exchanges, I felt seen in a way few movies have accomplished. Their connection transcended the physical; it was about minds meeting, perspectives shifting, and worlds expanding.

Like Zibby, I entered this movie expecting—perhaps even hoping for—a traditional romantic ending. I wanted Jesse to overcome his hesitations about their age difference. I wanted them to find a way to make it work despite societal judgment and practical obstacles. I was rooting for them because, in many ways, I was rooting for my own similar experiences to be validated.

But "Liberal Arts" takes a more nuanced approach. Jesse ultimately decides their relationship would be inappropriate, not because of what others might think, but because he recognizes that Zibby deserves to experience youth with someone at a similar life stage. His decision comes from a place of genuine care rather than rejection.

I'll admit—the ending frustrated me initially. I sat watching the credits roll with a knot in my stomach, feeling somehow betrayed by the narrative turn. Where was my catharsis? Where was the vindication that age-gap relationships could work beautifully? I wanted my own attractions validated, not questioned.

It took me time—weeks of reflection, actually—to appreciate the wisdom in that ending. Jesse and Zibby both end up exactly where they need to be. He finds someone age-appropriate who challenges him intellectually, while she continues her journey of self-discovery without skipping important developmental stages.

Looking back, I realize the film gave me something more valuable than validation: perspective. It helped me understand that attraction across significant age gaps isn't wrong or invalid, but it does warrant careful consideration of what each person needs at their particular life stage.

"Liberal Arts" didn't give me the fairy tale ending I initially craved, but it gave me something more valuable—a thoughtful meditation on growth, timing, and the different forms love can take. Sometimes the most caring decision isn't to pursue a relationship but to recognize when someone needs to walk their own path.

And maybe that's the happiest ending of all.